State of Nervousness

This night, I got a message in my WA. It was a group invitation, but not just an ordinary group chat. It was my family group chat made for this special day.

Why special day? Because, we will have a new member in our family. Yay! No, I am not talking about another little brother/sister. My mother already had her menopause. So, no.

I am talking about a new baby niece (at least it was what the doctor said). A baby niece! I will have the third niece! I am excited, but also nervous at the same time.

I always get nervous when I hear someone will give birth. You know, like imagining a not-so-small round thing will be popped up from that elastic hole. That thing, that previously carried around in a belly. And that thing has life. And that thing has your gene.

Imagine how many medical mistakes that would probably happen within the process. A soon-to-be mother should trust her life to the medical team’s hands. A soon-to-be mother should bear an ineffable pain (because all mothers that I asked, came up with the same answer “gak bisa dibayangin deh”). Meanwhile, the baby should struggle to find their way to get out, to see the world. They should sneak out from their mother’s warm and comfortable womb to this cold world. It is a process of mutual sacrifice.

Despite of all things above, I am still clueless about it. Because you’ll only truly feel it, when you experience it.

God bless my sister in law. May she’s given strength, find herself enough courage and supports she needs. God bless my soon-to-be third niece, I am being excited to meet you soon. I hope this world isn’t too cold for you, because your soon-to-be family is here with much warm love waiting for you.

Yes, I am happy. Until a message appeared on my screen,

“Berikutnya mama tunggu cucu dari kamu, Nggi.”

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