The F Word You Hate

I remember the time when me and my group presented about women’s rights and feminism in a class about human rights. Some of our classmates are smirking, some of our classmates are whispering ear to ear,  some others are ignoring us, some others attacking us with questions to turn us down. They might hate feminism back then. But I was totally okay with that, since our presentation went well and we managed to defense our arguments despite of the offending debates.

Now, as a revenge, I am trying to write what most people hate about feminism and my thoughts about it. These are the truth about the F word you probably hate, enjoy!

Feminists are angry and butthurt and bitter.

A lot of “anti-feminists” use this kind of insult, they make it sounds like anger, butthurt and bitterness are feminists’ nature, just because feminists are telling people what’s wrong with our society. Of course I have objections about this.

Yes, maybe we sound so angry and butthurt and bitter when speaking about injustice. Fun fact: most protesters do too. How come did we suppose to put our protests in fancy words and low voice when the things are getting worse? Would someone ever hear us? The urge to throw off the patriarchy from the holy throne is so big that we have to shout. If we did not shout, the world would never hear, and the things would never move for us, would they?

When we were contently speaking about the problems of being a woman, the others would think that we were using too much of our feeling and not relying on our ability to think and reasons. But when we brought the statistics and facts to the table, the others would think that we were being too serious about it, that we have to ‘calm down’. What do we suppose to do when the world were building walls around us?

Feminism is the ‘reverse-sexism’.

Believe me, it is not. Feminism stands for the injustice caused by patriarchy, which is also addresses sexism. But it is not the ‘reverse-sexism’ because it is not attacking men and demanding women to have higher place over men. Feminism was never made to dismantle men and their rights, feminism was made to dismantle privileges and patriarchy.

If you ever found an article by someone who claims themselves as ‘feminists’ but were degrading men or objectify them, then it is not feminism. I am still learning about the true meaning of feminism, but I was never taught to hate men, I was taught to see men as my fellow human beings with the same amount of rights like me. As the religion verdict said ‘hate the sins, not the sinners’, this is most probably how feminism works. Okay, sinners maybe too harsh to say, ‘hate the injustice, not the unknowing perpetrators’  would be better.

Why unknowing perpetrators? Because maybe some people who are sexists never taught or heard about sexism and the bad impacts. Most of people would unconsciously execute sexist thingies in our life, because we are all grown up in such system. An egg soaked in saltwater will eventually turn salty. But, we are not eggs, we still got time to develop and go back to our true self.

Feminism only think about women. 

Another typical statement. Yes, naturally feminism fights for the oppression happened to all women, back in time when the Suffragettes marched down the road to gain women’s right to vote.  What would you expect from feminists in such society, of course the Suffragettes concern more on the basic human rights for women first.

Now, when most of women can go to college, involved in politics, have the right to vote (even though some others haven’t gained it, and I really wish that I could help them someday); feminism turned to address bigger problems infecting our social norms.

Feminism is inclusive, addressing the issues of LGBTQ, the gender roles’ victims, body positivity and beauty standards, women and men in colors, and many others. Did you ever hear a feminist ranting about how men with feelings are turned down by society? (If you haven’t just read more on feminist articles) YES, because we basically care about the entire human race, especially those who are oppressed by patriarchy.

Why do we not call ourselves a humanist? Entire human race are all basically a humanist, because we care about human rights (wholly or partly). Humanist and feminist can work hand in hand, and feminists certainly (with no doubt) support humanism. We do not call ourselves as a humanist because it would be too large, too vague, too many issues. We concern on certain part of humanism, is it a sin? When someone took biology class and then choose to become a zoologist, do they become less of a biologist?

We do not call ourselves a humanist because who would hate human in general?

Feminism wants women to be independent but does not want to lose the special treatments.

Feminists do not exclusively want women to be independent. Feminists do not tell women to refuse helps whenever they need one. Feminists do not tell women to not to be vulnerable whenever they feel so. Feminists embrace all the differences (including physical) between men and women. When a woman’s car was dead and she did not know how to fix the machines, and then a man helped her, it was never attacking any of feminism’s values. If a man wanted to be a gentlemen to protect his woman or his female friends, then he was never undermining feminism. When a woman decided to be housewife and took of her children, it was never a problem to feminism.

FEMINISM WANTS WOMEN  TO DO WHATEVER THEY WANT TO DO AND BE WHATEVER THEY WANT TO BE, without fears, without harms, without fear of oppression, without fear of judgement. If a woman wants to train her body that it becomes so muscular then some men started to insult her body, THAT’S AGAINST FEMINISM. When a man cried over something in public places and others bully him after that, THAT’S AGAINST FEMINISM. When a woman helped by a man and then he thought to himself ‘women are so useless’, THAT’S AGAINST FEMINISM.  When a man protect his woman and then he thought to himself ‘women are so weak’, THAT’S AGAINST FEMINISM. When a husband does not allow his wife to go to work when she wants to, THAT’S AGAINST FEMINISM.

Can’t you tell the differences now? What is against feminism is whatever harms the society that comes from patriarchy.


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