A Song of A Lonely Queen

You can’t find me in the crowd,

as hard as I can’t find you in solitude.

I read the history of the world,

as much as you read about the future.

Aren’t our differences too strong for us to ignore?

 

You’re still smiling on a hard day,

while I’m angry for silly reasons.

You are your own self, and I am me.

I’d tried to be like you,

but all I got was only mockery.

 

Where’d you go, trouble making sad girl?

They said.

Have you found your prince?

Didn’t you say you need no rescue?

Didn’t you say you can save yourself?

 

I laugh at my own restlessness, dreaming about a kingdom.

Where it’s only me on the throne, crowned in blood diamond.

Two lines of knights standing proudly before me.

Swearing to protect my whole life and my treasures.

 

Then I saw you riding a horse cart.

Beside you was a girl, modest on her dress.

She had two braids on her hair,

she was knitting a clothe for you.

And you’re smiling at how her hands moved graciously.

And I saw myself burning the palace with rage.

 

Not all fairy tales had a happy ending, you said.

I nod at you submissively,

and denying tears that keep pooling inside my eyes.

I know and understand the exact same ending, repeatedly in my life.

Until someday that I’d lose my hope, I would accept the faith.

 

That it would never be my ever after, it would be someone else’s.

It’d be only him and her,

without me.

Because I am a lonely queen.

 

 

 

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