March 30, 2016

I hate loud voices

I hate crowded places, sometimes they make me suffocated

I hate bangings

I hate eerie sounds even though they are not addressed to me

I hate when somebody’s screaming

I hate when some children start crying annoyingly

I hate being tormented in the heart by those voices

They make me want to scream too, and then cry for help

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

Quick, I want to hide under random shacks

Which is peaceful and tranquil

I want to be free from humans, free from the judging eyes

Yes, dear I am human, too

But I hate the way human had been dragged in life

To the places they didn’t even want to be

Like the O Holy One spooned a mouthful pills and throw some assigned books

Force us to take all of them, learn from them, and then be okay

What if I’m not okay? Will someone blame me?

What if I drove out of the way that prepared for me? Will my name be erased?

Just now, dear friends, tears coming down on my cheeks again

Right after I heard two people arguing

I’m not sad by what they said, I’m sad because they could’ve use lower volume

So it wouldn’t have to hurt someone else, so they wouldn’t  have to be angry at each other in the end

This world is already bad and old even without people screaming and cursing at each other

Why is it need to be that way? Why can’t I express my anger with my tears? Why is it always said as weakness, while the opposite anger is said as power?

If you found this, my friends,I am here under my blanket, shaking

Typing this shit out of me on my phone, because I am scared of losing my sanity

Because I am scared that the voices would disturb me again

I am scared of this noisy world

Shut up, will you? Let me finish this

I want to

finish this

all at once.


2 thoughts on “March 30, 2016

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